Pan-Roasting

OK bitch. Do you want to act like a professional chef and impress the dildos you call friends? Well here is a great technique that combines pan-frying and roasting. Hence, it’s called pan-roasting. This is one technique that saves time and produces a great finish for thick cuts of meat.

It involves searing the meat first and then placing the meat still in the pan, directly into the oven to finish. You will most likely accompany the finished product with a delightful sauce of your choosing. You like that, huh? “Delightful Sauce.” That was my sarcasm coming out. Anyway. Back to your sorry ass and pan-roasting.

As a result of searing the meat and then using the convection heat of the oven, pan-roasting enables your pathetic ass to speed up the cooking process. Depending on the size, thickness and hardness of your meat, you can get dinner on the table within a half hour at most. So it’s a great technique for those times that you want to create a special meal for your significant other with the hope of getting into her pants, as well as when you just come home from work and don’t have much time, but desire something thick and juicy to insert into your mouth. Very versatile, huh?

 

SO WHAT THE F%@K DO I NEED FOR THIS “PAN-ROASTING” CRAP?

 

Well, first and foremost, you need an oven ready pan. Cast iron works the best. Make sure any handles are oven safe. Don’t try using a pan with handles made of plastic or plastic coating because it can be time consuming when you have to clean the melted disaster off the bottom of the oven rack. Don’t be a stupid bitch. Use your damn common sense.

Secondly, you will need an oven. I find that an oven works better than placing the food on your back patio and allowing the sun to bake it. You will too. Oven mitts would be a good thing to have at this point as well, because when you reach for the pan that has been sitting in 350 degrees without them, you might feel a slight warm and tingly sensation.

 

SO HOW DO I DO THIS HERE “PAN-ROASTING?”

 

Damn, you really are a redneck piece of trash, huh? “This here pan-roasting?” Who the hell talks like that?? At any rate, it is really very simple. Here are the steps:

1. First pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees. Do this first because you want to make sure it is at that temperature when the meat is ready to be inserted.
2. Prepare your cast iron pan by preheating that on the stove-top as well.
3. When the pan is hot, add an oil with a high smoking point.  You can use vegetable oil.
4. When the oil is heated, and damn it, not one second before it is thoroughly heated, bitch… add your thick, juicy, and seasoned slab of meat. Make sure you season it before you sear it. You can also lightly flour it as well.
5. Sear it on all sides for approximately two minutes each. It should be nice and golden brown at this point.
6. Place the entire pan in the oven for anywhere between five and twenty minutes, depending on the type, cut, and thickness of the meat. Use a meat thermometer to tell when it reaches the recommended temperature for that particular meat.
7. Finally, you can deglaze the pan used in order to make a great sauce. There  is more information on making sauces in the “Sauce Making Lesson”