Father’s Day Kitchen Bit@h Gift Guide 2015
Nothing screams “I’m a Man!” like cooking up some tasty dead animal flesh or making homemade alcohol. And dads all around the globe love cooking. Whether it’s outside in January during a blizzard or in the comforts of their own home, men love to get in the damn kitchen! So, for this Father’s Day, I have put together a list of my favorite culinary gadgets that every Dad would love to get his hands on!
Nothing screams “I’m a man, watch me cook meat” like smoking food. Now, dad can do it year round with this indoor/ outdoor smoking kettle.
Nordic Ware 365 Indoor/Outdoor Kettle Smoker
Men like shiny metal objects and they like danger. So, why not give dad the chance to slice his finger clean off with one of the best knives out there! I personally own this Shun knife and wouldn’t trade this culinary treasure for a $1,000 / hr. prostitute with no teeth!
Shun DM0706 Classic 8-Inch Chef’s Knife
Say hello to my little friend! Men like meat. Men like guns. So why not pick up one of these Smoking Guns so dad can combine his love for both.
PolyScience The Smoking Gun Handheld Smoker With Classic Smokehouse Assortment
Don’t forget my amazingly hilarious line of spice blends so dad can rub his meat real good! Can’t you see dad pulling out the “Miso Ho-Nee Asian Blend” or slathering his beef with our Smoky Pole BBQ Blend? So many to choose from! All at the Bit@h Store!
Get all of our Spices and Rubs at the Bit@h Store!
Watch dad get drunk and throw up as he tries to come up with the perfect beer recipe at home!
Mr. Beer Premium Gold Edition Home Brew Kit
Or maybe dad prefers to drown his sorrows and his deep, long-standing disappointment in his children with his own homemade Wine!
Deluxe Wine Making Kit (High Quality and Durable Wine Kit)
Watch while dad’s mouth is clearly on fire, but he insists… “No, No, I’m ok.” as he chokes back the tears! Then hear him roar the next day as he expels it from his body! Nothing pleases a man more than having a variety of killer hot sauces to choose from. Here are a few:
Dave’s Gourmet Spicy Six Pack Crated Hot Sauce Collection w/ Insanity Sauce is A Great Gift Fun to Collect and Eat. Sauce Go From Mild to Beyond Wild. Work You Way Up To Insanity. A Wood Set of Flavor and Fire
Professor Phardtpounders Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce, 5.7 Ounce
Satan’s Blood Hot Sauce, 1.35 Ounce
One F**kin’ Drop at a Time Hot Sauce
What dad wouldn’t like this? It’s like a GD swiss army knife for the grill! Start off with the bottle opener so you can get nice and toasty as you use the serrated knife to cut your meat and fingers. And make sure you keep drinking so that you ensure the sharp hook pokes not one, but both of your drunken eyes out while you wrangle your steaks. Don’t forget the spatula so you can flip your burgers! We recommend safety gloves, goggles and a suit of armor while you use this gem of a tool.
BBQ Hooker 1009R 4-in-1 Grilling Tool, Right Handed
Dropping morsels of tasty murder will be a thing of the past when you get dad one of these turner tongs. Dad will never have to use the 10 second rule again!
Outset QV57 Verde Multipurpose Stainless-Steel Claw-Style Barbecue Tongs with Bamboo Handles
Dad will use this amazing invention to stuff his ground up dead animal flesh with some tasty cheese, veggies or anything his heart desires!
Cuisinart CSBP-100 3-in-1 Stuffed Burger Press
What’s better than being able to add some amazing smoked flavor to the dead animals dad has chosen to grill to perfection. Now he can with this smoker box.
GrillPro 00150 Cast Iron Smoker Box
How about serving up some grilled pizza? Now dad can with this grilling stone!
Weber 8836 Gourmet BBQ System Pizza Stone with Carry Rack
In doing my research, this Himalayan Salt Block seemed to pop up…a lot. People swear it gives your meat or veggie that added mineral salt taste that is, pardon the expression you animals that gave your lives for our tasty enjoyment, “to die for”.
Round Himalayan Salt Grilling Blocks Double Pack Sale!
