Step Away From the Green Bean Casserole.
Do you know what it says to your family when you open up a can of cream of crap soup, empty it into a casserole dish and throw in some green beans to make the same old boring green bean casserole? It’s saying “I care…. but not toooooo much.” Seriously, don’t you think it’s about damn time to update that recipe and show them how you really feel?
Well, you’re in luck, because I have come up with three version of Green Bean Casserole that are gonna make your family bend over and begged to be bit@hslapped for! There are just a couple of things you need to know first.
- The first thing you need to know is that it makes a HUGE difference when you use fresh ingredients. Always, and I mean ALWAYS use fresh greenbeans. It is the difference of making a pile of horesesh!t and a crispy, gooey slice of heaven.
- The second thing is ditch that cream of crappy crap of crap with sh!t soup! It’s really not that hard to make a thick, flavorful cream sauce. It will seriously take you 10 minutes and provide a world of difference in the flavor of your finished product.
- There are also healthier alternatives by using chicken broth & wine instead of milk and cream in your sauce. In fact, these alternatives are so damn good, your family will probably want them to be a staple going forward.
Creamy Dijon Green Bean Casserole with Bacon
This creamy version starts with making your own cream sauce with some added Dijon mustard for a tangy kick. To top it off, we add some bacon to bring some smoky salty, goodness that will literally knock your lush of and Aunt Sylvia on her butt, before the wine does.
Casseroles Using Wine:
For a healthier alternative that tastes amazing, use a little wine and chicken broth instead of the creamy sauce that typically accompanies a Green Bean Casserole. Here are two amazingly delicious alternatives:
Red Wine, Mushroom Green Bean Casserole
Think “pot roast with mushroom gravy” here because that’s basically the flavors that are working together to make this amazingly delicious version of Green Bean Casserole. No one is gonna miss the cream, especially Aunt Bertha. Recipe Here
Marsala Dijon & Mushroom Green Bean Casserole
For this version, I take a cue from the Italians. The Marsala wine goes amazing with green beans and mushrooms and the kick from the Dijon ties the whole damn thing together. Recipe Here
So, this year, make sure you change it up a little and show your family they are more than just freeloading bit@hes that happen to reside in your home. Show them the love. If you don’t, the terrorists win. Just Sayin’.
Our Newest Holiday Video
If you’re choosing to be a lazy bit@h this, year and want to simply open up a can of gravy, or as I like to call it “Horsesh!t in a Can” you might want to check out our NEW & HILARIOUS Video: Get Me In The Kitchen to Make Canned Gravy Taste Like Homemade
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Now you have everything you need. Go forth Kitchen Bit@hes! Go forth and make the best damn Thanksgiving the world has ever witnessed.